Update.

Ahh not that anyone cares but here’s my life over the last month or two. 

My ex best friend still isn’t talking to me. Cunt. Oh well, he may fuck off and die for all I care :)

School is good. I am shit. So much work and I’m failing like all of it aha. Not doing too badly but struggling to find motivation. Barely doing any work at all tbh.

I got fat. Like, back to 9st. Eating healthily. Want to lose half a stone but we’ll see. I’m fit now though, I do a lot of sport and have some serious muscle starting to show. Internal battle between wanting to be fit and healthy and wanting to be skinny and yeaahhhh idk. 

Been really up and down. Up from beginning of August to mid September then really up and down. October was lowwwww but not terribly bad. Mostly my sleep is awful. The last week has been good. 

Went to the doctors and did a fucking depression questionnaire. And hey guess what? I passed with flying colours. Referred back to my therapist for CBT -.- 

Finding Tumblr too triggering recently hence my lack of posts but yeah… 

Food.

Looking back a few weeks, food was all I thought of. Now, it’s not so bad. Food is no longer this disgusting thing, this devil in my life. No, now food looks beautiful and tastes delicious and I crave it. Fucking dreamt I binged the other day.. But yeah I’m not thinking about it so much, less anxious about it.

Haven’t been able to weigh myself more than about twice a week but I’ve taken to measuring myself between twice and about 10 times a day :| More about size than weight at the moment I guess